Blog post

I Owe Her

December 26, 2017

“This year I want to sell something I made.”

That was my wish was for my 23rd birthday. My then boyfriend had taken me out to lunch and I remember telling him that’s what I wanted for the upcoming year. I remember exactly what I was wearing, where I was sitting, and the window I was looking out of as I said it.

I don’t remember anything else about that lunch, but every time I pass that restaurant, I think of that moment.

“This year I want to sell something I made.”

I remember what I said and how I felt when I said it.

And then the shame sets in. Because I never did it. I still haven’t done it.

The shame is compounded by the fact that this isn’t a one-off story. There are lots of these moments, these vivid memories of plans made and abandoned. Plans to build the thing or design the thing or paint the thing or make the thing and, after all that, to sell the thing.

My world is littered with reminders of dreams I haven’t realized.

That’s why this fight against Resistance is so important to me. I owe it to her. I owe it to 23-year-old Kate. To 19-year-old Kate. To 15-year-old Kate. I owe it to 6-year-old Kate to show her it’s possible.

I owe her.

Baby Kate in her Christmas best, 1991. Because I owe her, too.


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